Symptom Recital

Symptom Recital
I do not like my state of mind;
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
I do not yearn for lovelier lands.
I dread the dawn's recurrent light;
I hate to go to bed at night.
I snoot at simple, earnest folk.
I cannot take the simplest joke.
I find no peace in paint or type.
My world is but a lot of tripe.
I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted.
For what I think, I'd be arrested.
I am not sick. I am not well.
My quondam dreams are shot to hell.
My soul is crushed, my spirit sore:
I do not like me any more.
I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse.
I ponder on the narrow house.
I shudder at the thought of men.
I'm due to fall in love again.

Title: The title is pretty vague which is a strategy to grasp the reader's attension. Symptom ususally implies the prerequisits to obtaining an illness which is generally negatively connotative. It can also imply an anticipated event to occur since there are symptoms occuring before then. By using the word, "recital" right next to it, it almost seems as if these "symptoms" or "prerequisits" are what caused them. Is Parker going to speak of how something was a result of something else? The reader soon finds out.

Paraphrase: I hate my state of mind, I'm bitter, cold, I like to fight, I hate my legs, I hate my hands, I don't care or want to go to better places or live in a better home, I dread the light before dawn, I hate going to bed at night, I hate sleeping, I laugh at simple people, I can't stand doing anything (not even painting or typing), My world is nothing but depressing, I'm disillusioned, I have no heart, I'd be taken away or arrested for my thoughts, I can't take a joke, I'm not sick but I'm not ok, All my aspirations are shot to hell, My soul is crushed, my dreams mean nothing anymore, my spirit is dying, I don't like this anymore. She wonders about the narrow house, She shudders at the sight of men, she's doomed to fall in love again.

Connotations: There are a lot of them in here. I feel as if Parker uses very vague works that evoke a series of powerful emotions and images to the reader.
"State of mind"-I've always been curious about this phrase. Parker begins by being blunt. It is almst as if the reader can picture her "state of mind" as a dark room or narrow hallway. I'm not sure why I got this image but whenever I hear this, I always get the image of this. She is giving power to her mind here because it is what is controlling her at the moment.
"bitter"-I thought it was interesting how she uses this word to first describe her. She get her tone already from the second line of the poem because this word is strongly negatively connotative. It almost presents the idea that the speaker already knows she a horrible person but it only gets worse as the negatively connotative diction continues throughout the poem.
"hate"-As compared to her poems, Parker is so much more blunt to describe the subject of the poem. I'm pretty sure she does this because she is trying to reach a general audience (aka the "common man") here because we can all relate to this poem at some point or another.
"legs": Ha, I found this hilarious for some reason just because I've heard so many people say this. It can be taken bother literally and metaphorically. I thought it was a metonomy because it represented where people decide to go with their lives and the misdirections they take.
"hands": This can be taken the same way as "legs" but in a different light. "Hands" are more action based towards more specific doings. "Legs" take you there. "Hands" actually make you do something. Why would she choose these two seperate body parts? Hands and legs? I thought this was a message Parker was trying to explain...People in society have the chance to go, live, love, discover...yet they don't. They just accept what they have and get depressed about it. I wouldn't say she's necesserily mocking this fact. It's just pretty sad though when the reader realizes what Parker is trying to explain.

Attitude: Parker has two attitudes going on here. The first is slightly mocking but underneath this tone, there is a sad and solumn tone of how many in our society are not satisfied with themselves and how love is a painful thing due to our insecurities and doubts.

Shift: There's a shift after Parker speaks of the narrow house in which she thinks about. Because previous to this, she expressed her state of mind and how she felt about herself, the underlying message lies in the last two lines where she speaks of how shes bound to fall in love again because of all these insecurities. The thing is, the reader does not know if she is falling in love or if she is already in love because we often know that while in love, we have strong insecurities.

Theme: There are two themes in this poem: The first is the struggle many in our society face with themselves. I know all of us have strong insecurities and these usually arise when something ignites us to feel a particular way.